Love and intimacy go hand in hand. Love is the physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, or social affection one person holds for another. Concepts related to love include adore, desire, prefer, possess, care for, serve, and even worship. Intimacy, on the other hand, is a close relationship where mutual acceptance, nurturing, and trust are shared at some level. In order to understand love in human relationships, you must first understand how the self either enhances or inhibits your capacity to love.
Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.
Barbara de Angelis
Researchers have found when a woman sees images of men, her smile muscle is more active during the follicular stage of the monthly cycle, and they suggest it may be a way of increasing the chances of intimacy. Progesterone, the hormone that prepares the womb for a possible pregnancy, is thought to be implicated.
Hormones – from the Greek hormo, to set in motion – are chemical messengers that travel around the body co-ordinating complex processes like growth and development, metabolism, fertility, and almost everything the body does to stay alive. They orchestrate the changes that occur at puberty, they affect the immune system, and they can alter behaviour. Secreted by a network of endocrine glands and distributed through the bloodstream, they enable communication with distant organs to co-ordinate the body's actions and reactions.
Testosterone ... A sex hormone that plays a key role in puberty, largely produced in the testes. In men, testosterone helps maintain bone density, fat distribution, muscle mass and strength, red blood cell production, sex drive and sperm production. It's involved in the development of male reproductive organs and features. Women have smaller amounts of testosterone produced in the ovaries, which plays a role in libido and maintaining muscle and bone strength.
Oxytocin ... Scientists know there's a link between high levels of the hormone oxytocin in humans and lower levels of stress and an increase in holding and hugging their partner. Using what psychologists call "cuddle-promoting" they find out that oxytocin levels increase when a female and her mate (and vice versa) play games that foster positive physical contact like high-fives and hugs.
So, Feeling amorous? It’s not just your pose. Boston State Hospital found summer sun raises testosterone levels by 120%. This powers your sex drive and also gets her in the mood. “The heat means sweat, which emits oestrogen and testosterone,” says Dr Ian Kerner, author of He Comes Next (Collins). This may not sound like a recipe for romance, but US scientists at Rutgers University, New Jersey, found the two hormones stimulate sexual desire. Canadian research by Brock University, Ontario, found competitive sports further boost your testosterone levels, while studies at the University of St Andrews in Scotland confirm women are more attracted to high-testosterone men.” She’ll detect your raised testosterone in the scent of the sweat flowing from your midfield dynamo body. And sweat is so effective that research at the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago confirmed it can be a more powerful arouser than any aftershave.
Hormones – from the Greek hormo, to set in motion – are chemical messengers that travel around the body co-ordinating complex processes like growth and development, metabolism, fertility, and almost everything the body does to stay alive. They orchestrate the changes that occur at puberty, they affect the immune system, and they can alter behaviour. Secreted by a network of endocrine glands and distributed through the bloodstream, they enable communication with distant organs to co-ordinate the body's actions and reactions.
Testosterone ... A sex hormone that plays a key role in puberty, largely produced in the testes. In men, testosterone helps maintain bone density, fat distribution, muscle mass and strength, red blood cell production, sex drive and sperm production. It's involved in the development of male reproductive organs and features. Women have smaller amounts of testosterone produced in the ovaries, which plays a role in libido and maintaining muscle and bone strength.
Oxytocin ... Scientists know there's a link between high levels of the hormone oxytocin in humans and lower levels of stress and an increase in holding and hugging their partner. Using what psychologists call "cuddle-promoting" they find out that oxytocin levels increase when a female and her mate (and vice versa) play games that foster positive physical contact like high-fives and hugs.
So, Feeling amorous? It’s not just your pose. Boston State Hospital found summer sun raises testosterone levels by 120%. This powers your sex drive and also gets her in the mood. “The heat means sweat, which emits oestrogen and testosterone,” says Dr Ian Kerner, author of He Comes Next (Collins). This may not sound like a recipe for romance, but US scientists at Rutgers University, New Jersey, found the two hormones stimulate sexual desire. Canadian research by Brock University, Ontario, found competitive sports further boost your testosterone levels, while studies at the University of St Andrews in Scotland confirm women are more attracted to high-testosterone men.” She’ll detect your raised testosterone in the scent of the sweat flowing from your midfield dynamo body. And sweat is so effective that research at the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago confirmed it can be a more powerful arouser than any aftershave.
“Contrary to popular belief, cold showers actually increase sexual desire by boosting circulation, your testosterone and her oestrogen levels,”
Attachments are crucial to human existence and are essentially the emotional context of those relationships we all have in life. How you attached as an infant and young child shapes (at least in theory) how you will likely attach as an adult. If you had strong attachments in childhood, then forming adult relationships should be easier for you. If you had weak or interrupted attachments in childhood, then forming adult relationships -- especially loving ones -- will be more difficult for you. A person can go to classes, to work, to social events, even on dates and never leave her or his private comfort zone. It doesn't take much to mask the fact that you are hiding safely away from risks even when outwardly you appear to be very confident and socially skilled (watch the movie Hitch, 2005, with Will Smith, Eva Mendes, and Kevin James, to see what I'm talking about). But, if and when intimacy and love enter the equation, you have to leave your safety zone. Typically when two strangers meet they self-disclose. Self-disclosure is the process of revealing the true nature of oneself to another person and the beginning of a summer romance.
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Here are the 36 questions the pairs in Aron's test group asked one another, broken up into three sets. Each set is intended to be more intimate than the one that came before.
Set 1
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set 2
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set 3
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling _______."
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share _______.”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1#ixzz3fzDd6y5o
Try them out, and let me know what happens .... email me
[email protected] and let me know
Resources :
http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/theoriesoflove.htm
https://books.google.ca/booksid=Yz8HuBFXb6cC&pg=PA480&lpg=PA480&dq=Love,+Intimacy,+and+Summer+psychology&source=bl&ots=SpbzCMa-Vi&sig=bYfE75JQaaQlW7T0yYkMdIXtfnI&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDAQ6AEwA2oVChMI1cety-HdxgIVwx0eCh1nzQHK#v=onepage&q=Love%2C%20Intimacy%2C%20and%20Summer%20psychology&f=false
http://study.com/academy/lesson/sternbergs-triangular-theory-of-love-definition-examples-predictions.html
http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1
================================================================
Here are the 36 questions the pairs in Aron's test group asked one another, broken up into three sets. Each set is intended to be more intimate than the one that came before.
Set 1
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set 2
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set 3
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling _______."
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share _______.”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1#ixzz3fzDd6y5o
Try them out, and let me know what happens .... email me
[email protected] and let me know
Resources :
http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/theoriesoflove.htm
https://books.google.ca/booksid=Yz8HuBFXb6cC&pg=PA480&lpg=PA480&dq=Love,+Intimacy,+and+Summer+psychology&source=bl&ots=SpbzCMa-Vi&sig=bYfE75JQaaQlW7T0yYkMdIXtfnI&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDAQ6AEwA2oVChMI1cety-HdxgIVwx0eCh1nzQHK#v=onepage&q=Love%2C%20Intimacy%2C%20and%20Summer%20psychology&f=false
http://study.com/academy/lesson/sternbergs-triangular-theory-of-love-definition-examples-predictions.html
http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1
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